A Quick Self-check For Your Marriage

Hello my friends, how was your weekend? 

I hope you are enjoying the changing of the seasons, I LOVE THIS TIME OF YEAR!

Today’s post is a little religious in nature, -I don’t hide the fact that I’m a Christian, so I hope you won’t mind me sharing a few thoughts. 

But if that’s not for you, you can stop reading now and I love you anyway!

My husband and I always go to church on Sundays together.  It’s something we decided to do when we were first married, and we’ve rarely missed. -We don’t go because we’re good people, but rather, we go because we NEED God in our lives to become good people.

I’m grateful for that choice we made, because it has been an anchor for us.  I personally need that weekly reminder of who I am, why I’m here, and whom I owe everything in my life to, -my Heavenly Parents.

At church on Sunday I was reading through a document written by our leaders called, “The Proclamation of the Family,” and it says this about marriage: 

“Those who are married should consider their union as their most cherished earthly relationship. A spouse is the only person other than the Lord whom we have been commanded to love with all our heart (D&C 42:22  Thou shalt love thy wife with all thy heart, and shalt cleave unto her and none else.).

Marriage, in its truest sense, is a partnership of equals, with neither person exercising dominion over the other, but with each encouraging, comforting, and helping the other.

Because marriage is such an important relationship in life, it needs and deserves time over less-important commitments. Couples can strengthen their marriage as they take time to talk together and to listen to one another, to be thoughtful and respectful, and to express tender feelings and affection often.”

I love this wise counsel!

Let’s break this down a bit and check in with a little self assessment…

Partnership of equals:

    What are my thoughts on this?  Do I treat my spouse as an equal

    Do I show up in my marriage as an equal? 

Encourage, comfort and help each other: 

    When was the last time I did this for my partner? 

Most important commitment deserving of our time:

    Have I made my marriage a priority this week?  Why / why not?

Talk together and listen to one another.

    Do I listen or do I just want to be heard?

Be thoughtful and respectful:

    When is the last time I exercised these attributes?

Express tender feeling and affection often:

    Do I do this?  Do I want to do this?  What would need to change in order for me to want to do this?

I’ve been thinking lately about the words desire and choice, as they relate to marriage.  

What do you desire?  Do you even know?

Have you quashed those feelings of desire, and resigned yourself to live a life that just happens to you?

Do you desire a marriage that checks the boxes of the list above?

Would you like to find out if you can have the marriage you really want… with  your current spouse?

Maybe you’ve stopped hoping for that because it’s too painful to want it… or perhaps you ignore that longing because you’ve stopped believing it’s possible for you.

Wouldn’t it be wonderful to allow yourself not only to have that desire, but also figure out how to make it happen?

Choosing to honor your desire for a beautiful marriage is an important first step. Deciding that you’re both worth the effort is the spark that can ignite the flame needed to exert the effort.

The scriptures teach us that “Men(and women) are, that they might have joy.” Joy is our birthright, and I believe a happy marriage can be a HUGE component of that joy.

If you describe your relationship as less than joyful, well… life is short, let’s get to work!