Are you in the middle of a mid-life crisis?
midlife crisis: An emotional crisis of identity and self-confidence that can occur in early middle age.
A few years back,I remember driving in the car one day with some dear friends as we were heading out to lunch, and suddenly I was talking my head off and just couldn’t stop. I felt safe with these besties and so I unloaded my heart. I felt this quiet desperation… this frantic need to say all of the ugly things that were brewing in my mind. And as I spilled… they just listened and laughed as I wondered aloud, “Am I having a midlife crisis?”
Have you ever felt this way? Have you ever wondered, “What in the world is going on with me, am I losing my mind?”
Many of my clients are nearing or experiencing this in some form or another. It’s typically triggered when we reach a certain point in our lives where we believe we ought to be feeling a certain way, and we’re not.
A midlife crisis can show up in lots of different ways, but usually includes at least a few of the following symptoms:
Feeling desperately bored or apathetic.
Asking yourself deep, probing questions and questioning your beliefs.
Gaining or losing weight.
A deep sense of loss or floating adrift at sea.
Difficulty sleeping and making rash decisions.
A change in your sex drive.
A heightened awareness of your mortality and foreboding of the future.
A sudden obsession with or lack of care about your physical appearance.
All of these symptoms can be difficult to experience if we’re not aware of the opportunities that exist in this important phase of life.
Your role is likely changing, perhaps the kids are moving out and your days and responsibilities look much different now.
It’s natural to mourn the things that pass, just as we mourn those we love when they die.
The problem comes when we don’t process that emotion properly and our minds stay fixated on what has been lost, rather than what lies ahead. When we stay in this space we do crazy things to try to recover what we felt in the past.
How do you want to see this phase?
I’d like to suggest that rather than a crisis, this is a period of transformation.
And just as a caterpillar is a gooey, awful mess while in the chrysalis, it takes that period of growth and transformation to become something new and emerge as the beautiful butterfly it was destined to be.
What if this is true for you? Would you view this period with excitement and anticipation, rather than dread?
Nothing has gone wrong. Your family isn’t wrong. Your spouse isn’t wrong. Your life isn’t wrong. Your choices haven’t been wrong.
Everything leading up to this point is exactly as it should be. It has led you to this moment. This natural and beautiful part of being a human being, that can go through the mess of change and experience transformation.
All you need is to learn how to manage that brain of yours, in a way that presents possibility.
“What’s next for me and who am I meant to be?”
“What do I want for this next segment of my life?”
“How do I want to spend my time and what do I want to accomplish or contribute to the world?”
It’s questions like these that will help you make the transformation, and you don’t have to do it alone.
If you’re feeling lost and don’t know the next steps, I’m here to help you process your emotions and find the answers you are looking for.
So get excited love, you have so much good stuff ahead and it’s going to be great!❤️