Good, Better and Best

When we were newly weds, my husband and I bought a little hibachi grill, -remember those?  We thought is was great… and it was… but over time it stopped being so great, we started noticing the flaws… it was too small, didn’t have the features we wanted. We realized we wanted something better.  So we went to Home Depot and bought a “nice” grill.  And it was nice… but over time it stopped cooking the food evenly, it rusted out and the burners became plugged up.  We repeated this process several times, but it always ended in the same result.  The better grills just didn’t last.

So recently we decided we were going to get a new one, and this time we wanted the best.  We read all of the reviews, we looked at several different stores, but we were confused because everyone seemed to make the same claim, but we knew from our own experience that those claims were not likely true.

So one day, I had to go to an upper-end kitchen supply store here in our area, for a few things that we were needing for our son’s graduation party.  This store has an awesome reputation and carries only high quality items.  As I was walking in, I noticed that they had five grills on display at the entrance, they were all different colors, but the model and price on each of them was the same.

I was intrigued. Why would they only sell one model of one brand of grill?  So I asked at the front if there was someone I could talk to about the grills.  Promptly a gentleman found me as I was shopping and asked if he could help.  I said, “Tell me why you only sell one grill?”  His simple response was all I needed.  “Because it’s the best.”  Of course I allowed him to tell me why, but I was sold before I heard any of the rest of what he had to say.

I was looking for the best.  I only wanted the best, and I trusted that this store carried only the best. 

Done deal.

So why am I telling you this?

I have been thinking about how this same thing applies in so many different areas of our lives, but especially in our marriages.

Most people settle for a good marriage.  It’s comfortable, perhaps a little worn and tattered, but it does the job… we stay together, live the same story year after year.  We don’t really talk, but it is what it is… The passion has fizzled, but that’s to be expected right?… We’re critical of each other and prefer our alone time.  We accept the belief that better isn’t possible for us… but at least we’re still here…it’s good enough…

Then there are those who have created a better marriage.  They are friends, they work fairly well together and do a good job of running the household.  You mostly like each other but occasionally roll your eyes and think critical thoughts about your spouse.  Sometimes you remember the love you once felt, but not always. Your friends all believe you are the perfect couple because that’s the show you put on for them. You’ve tried therapy once or twice to iron a few things out, but for the most part, you’re simply grateful that your marriage isn’t the train wreck that Dave and Cythia’s is. Better is good, but just like the grills, once it stops working, it might not last.

Then there is the BEST kind of marriage.  The kind that we all secretly wish for, -where you absolutely adore your spouse. The kind where you still feel butterflies and look forward to the weekends together.  The kind where you are genuinely interested in what your partner thinks and says,  and you still laugh at each other’s jokes. You always have his back and are his biggest defender.. The kind where forgiveness is automatic and you can’t wait for your future together, because things just get better and better…And the passion… ah yes, the passion… way better than when we were in our 30’s!! 

I’ve always liked nice things.  I’ve always been drawn to high quality.  Perhaps that’s why I found my own mediocre marriage to be so painful.  I knew that the best existed, but I didn’t know how to get it.

Coaching was the answer for me.  But I didn’t want help from just anyone.  I looked for and found the best, because I needed to trust that she knew how to help me get what I wanted, when I couldn’t see the path myself.

And once I experienced my own transformation, I decided to make it my mission to help other people like me. I learned from the best.  I trained with the best.  And I believe with all of my heart that my program is the very best of its kind available.

If you want the best marriage, maybe coaching is the answer for you too. Let’s talk.