Hello my friend!
I used to believe that a sexy body was what made me attractive. I spent hours and hours in the gym, six days a week, to turn my body into what I believed was necessary to be wanted.
Maybe you’ve made a fit body mean the same in your relationship.
But here’s what I’ve discovered; the sexiest, most attractive thing in the world, is loving myself,- truly, madly, deeply.
Massively loving myself, who I am inside and how I look outside, makes me glow, it’s attractive!
It’s not arrogance.
It’s finding wonder, gratitude and appreciation for ALL of me. It’s embracing ALL of what it means to be a human, even my faults.
And what’s even more amazing, is that the more I love me, the more I love other people.
Have you seen the movie, I Feel Pretty? Amy Schumer plays a woman who thinks she’s heavy and unattractive, -she kinda hates her life. Well, she has a freak accident at the gym, falls off her spin bike and hits her head. When she wakes up, her thoughts about herself have changed completely, and she 100% believes she’s gorgeous and talented, and she starts acting that way.
Her self-love is so attractive that people and jobs and experiences, are drawn to her and she creates the life she’s always wanted.
This is what I’m talking about. Self love, self belief and self confidence are catnip for humans!
There are a million different self help books, weight loss programs, seminars, podcasts etc… all with wonderful information to help us create better habits to improve our lives, and have more success.
If you are reading this post, then it’s likely you have explored a few, or even many of them yourself. But learning, without doing the work to change our brains, will yield only short term results.
If we want lasting, permanent change, we must change our thinking, and that change is most effective when it’s fueled by love.
Most of us use fear as a motivator to push us forward. When we are pushed by fear we feel desperate and maybe a little rebellious.
We think thoughts like these:
“I hate my body, I don’t deserve to eat that.”
“If I don’t lose weight, he won’t be attracted to me.”
“If I don’t figure out how to _________, he’ll leave me.”
“I have to stop being ____ if I ever want to be / have ______.”
“I’m so bad at this, why can’t I be more_______.”
We punish ourselves by enforcing a new habit, trying to hate ourselves into shape. But this type of action isn’t sustainable. It might work for a bit, but our lower brains are running the show, so we fall back into old habits and behaviors, as soon as our focus shifts to something else.
On the flip side, when we are pulled by love, we feel inspired.
We feel supported and cared for and capable. We WANT to make changes because of the self-love we feel.
We think thoughts like these:
“My body is a miracle, I want to give it the fuel it needs most.”
“I have faults like everyone else, but I’m growing and that is what life is all about.”
“I love my spouse, I’m going to love him/ her exactly as he/she is, because I love feeling love.”
“I don’t need anyone else to tell me I’m wonderful, I fill my own cup.”
Now, I know what you’re thinking, “That sounds super nice Jane, how the heck do I do that? If I had more confidence I’d use it!”
Well, unlike Amy Schumer, you don’t need to fall and hit your head. But you do need to take a careful look at the thoughts you are storing in there.
Getting in tune with your body is the first step. Are you able to identify your emotions?
Do you operate from a space of fear or self-love?
Next, when you feel fear, notice it, and then find the thought that is creating it.
What do you think about that thought? Is it one you want to keep? Can you find one that feels more like love?
This work is a process, but one that has long lasting effect.
Are you ready to fall in love with yourself but don’t know how?
I can help you, work with me.
If you want to be a magnet to your spouse, THIS, my friend, is the key.