Hello my friends,
I’ve been thinking of you and hoping your Thanksgiving celebration was wonderful, but I also know that life is ALWAYS going to be 50/50, -even during the holidays.
As long as we are human, we will experience both positive and negative emotions.
People ask me all the time if I ever struggle anymore and the answer is YES, of course! I still have my human brain.
Here is what a 50/50 Thanksgiving looked like for us: A delicious meal (I made way too much!) -and a mountain of dishes. Deeply enjoying our kids, -and deeply missing the ones who weren’t with us. Loving on our happy, well behaved grand-babies, -and also going a little crazy when those same darling kiddos weren’t so well behaved.
Joy and sadness, adoration and irritation, happiness and disappointment…it’s all part of the human experience.
So if your weekend was 50/50, consider yourself perfectly normal!
With Christmas coming, it’s a good time to check in with ourselves.
What are our expectations?
If you are anything like me, you want to squeeze every last drop of joy out of the season, and sometimes I drive myself a little crazy in the process.
It’s fun to anticipate all of the wonderful things that come with Christmas, but planning for the 50% that’s not so wonderful, can really help us stay grounded when those tricky emotions show up.
If we can take a good look at what we are expecting to experience, it will allow us to get a grip on reality and keep us from feeling disappointed when things don’t go as planned.
Here are a few helpful questions to help you zero in on what you are hoping to create.
“What are the three main feelings I want to experience this coming month?”
“What are three thoughts I can practice thinking in order to create those feelings?”
Experiences don’t create our emotions. Our thoughts about those experiences are what generate our feelings.
No amount of gingerbread, lights, parties or gifts, can make us feel happy or complete. We have to practice thinking the thoughts that create those joyful emotions within us.
So along with planning lots of things, planning how we want to think and feel about those things, will really serve us.
And also plan on that 50% of the time when we won’t feel like thinking the thoughts that will make us happy.
I’m not suggesting you turn into Eeyore, ”Nothing ever works out for me..”
But in a healthy way of simply understanding that life is supposed to be sweet AND salty.
The contrast is good and necessary.
Nothing has gone wrong.
This is the recipe for accepting, enjoying, and finding peace through all of it.
You’ve got this.
And if you don’t know how to allow that 50% in a way that doesn’t destroy your experience, I’m here for you.
Work with me.