So much hatred in our nation. So much love in our nation.
Both are true, which one are you feeling?
With the election so close, the emotional temperature in our country is rising higher. Who would’ve believed that was even possible?
If you’ve watched any TV or scrolled social media at all this past week, the ads are packed full of vitriol, accusation and judgement.
😡Do you get angry at people for being angry?
😡Do you feel animosity for those who are feeling animosity and perhaps acting out?
😡Do you feel disgusted by others who are voicing their disgust?
No matter how justified we feel in blaming others for our emotions, make no mistake, we are the ones creating them.
Did you know it’s possible for us to view other people’s emotional vomit, and not let it affect our own emotions?
When we take on the feelings of others, it’s called mirroring, and we do this in our relationships all of the time.
Back in the days when my husband and I were in the throws of raising kids and operating in emotional immaturity, we would often look to each other for our emotional cues.
If he was in a grumpy mood and barking at the rest of us, I’d get defensive and think of all the reasons it wasn’t my fault why he was being a jerk. Then I’d become grumpy too, and blame him for my bad mood.
I noticed the same to be true when I was the one upset. I’d freeze everyone out with a cold shoulder, and my husband would get mad at me for being mad, -and on and on it would go.
Common statements like, “If mama’s not happy, no one’s happy.” or, “Happy wife, happy life.” are so misleading.
Believing that someone else’s emotional state determines our own, robs us of our personal power to create our own happiness.
So, when we feel ourselves responding in a negative way to someone else’s emotional state, that’s our clue to stop, back up and assess.
Here are some helpful questions to ask yourself:
⚈ “How do I want to feel right now?”
⚈ “Do I want to give my power away to this person / commercial /
FB Post / situation?”
⚈ “What do I want to think in this situation, that will make me feel
better, and show up with more love in the world?”
Sometimes we mirror emotion in an attempt to help. We believe that it’s somehow wrong to feel good when someone else is suffering, -that it’s insensitive or lacking empathy.
But there is a big difference between being indifferent and being emotionally strong.
It’s completely appropriate to have compassion and care for those who are struggling, we wouldn’t want to feel nothing!
But it’s impossible for us to suffer enough to make someone else feel better. Our anger, sadness, and misery, cannot alleviate someone else’s.
You know what helps?
These emotions bless everyone, but most of all, they allow us to create positive change in our own lives, as well as in the world.
Next time you feel yourself being sucked into someone else’s emotional tornado. Step back, allow them the space to think and feel whatever they want, and allow yourself to do the same.🤗