I lost my temper.
So last Sunday, I spent a lot of time cooking a special meal for my family. I had worked hard and I was excited about having our boys and some dear friends join us, but most of all, I was excited to spoil my hubby a little since I don’t do a lot of cooking these days.
Well, as I was prepping and getting it ready, my husband snuck a bite… not a big deal at all, but it bugged me. I watched my brain get annoyed, I recognized it was silly, so then I thought, “It’s no big deal, give the guy a break!”
So I put a smile on my face and said, “Well, what do you think?” To which he replied… “It’s okay…” Haha, Not exactly what I was hoping to hear. I lost my temper. I didn’t yell or blow up, but I was fuming inside.
I spent the rest of the day being angry with him and wondering how he could be so rude. (Of course that was just my thought, he wasn’t being rude, he was just trying to be honest.)
Then I was filled with shame… I’m a marriage coach after all! I’m supposed to have the perfect marriage right?? My clients ask me all the time if I ever fight with my husband anymore, and here’s the truth,- yes we do.
Once in a while, but a whole lot less than we used to!
Human beings have brains, which means we will always have thoughts and feelings.
Sometimes I choose to be angry.
Sometimes I indulge in a negative thought, even though it creates a feeling I don’t enjoy.
And even though the dip isn’t very fun in the moment, I LOVE the contrast.
I need the variety in my life. I need the sour because then I enjoy the sweet so much more.
The difference between my life now and my life before coaching, is that now I understand how I’m creating my results, and I know how to change them when I’m ready.
Also, I don’t make a disagreement or disappointment doesn’t mean that I married the wrong person.
I don’t focus on all of my husband’s flaws and think poorly of him.
I own my personal power.
I have the ability to manage my emotions by choosing the way I want to think. And best of all, I am able to clearly communicate what’s on my heart without fear of judgement, insecurity or attempting to manage his thoughts and feelings.
These tools are GOLD.
I choose to have compassion for myself. I don’t expect anyone else to be perfect, why should I expect that of me?
I choose to have compassion for my husband. I can’t read his mind, why should he be able to read mine?
Yes, I lose my temper and cause myself some unnecessary pain. But I celebrate the fact that I get to experience all of what it means to be human.
So if you lose your temper, please know you’re not alone.
The problem comes when the anger stays and you can’t find your way out of it. It feels like it’s just become the beast that lives inside of you 24/7, waiting to rear its ugly head.
If that sounds like your story, please reach out to me, I’ll show you how to create that healthy balance of emotions you are longing for.