Have you ever said any of the following (maybe even just in your head!)?
“He’s/she’s not my soulmate.”
“I can’t believe I married this person, what was I thinking??”
“Pretty sure I should have married someone more….”
No? How about this one, “He’s/she’s the PERFECT one for me!” (then lucky you!)
Sadly, I spent way too much time over the past 30 years of my marriage NOT feeling this way. I didn’t realize that it was my own thoughts that were causing me pain.
I spent a lot of time building a file of evidence for all of the reasons we weren’t good together, and here’s the thing…. we find what we look for!
Most people don’t recognize that the story they tell themselves about their relationship is only half true, yet they believe it 100%.
Our brains are so wired for negativity that we tend to believe more of the nightmare than the fairy tale. And because our lower brains sole purpose is caution and self-preservation, events with a strong, negative emotional charge, are deeply noted and remembered.
Did you know it’s a choice?
Do you know you can re-write your story any way that you choose, and not only will it be true, but it will make you much happier?
When I consciously look for ways that my husband is perfect for me, I find TONS of evidence to support that thought.
And I don’t take a single moment with him for granted.
I love his sense of humor, the way that he can fix anything!
I love his easy going nature that compliments my A type drive.
He’s a master light bulb changer, spider killer and take care of all the things I can’t get to kind of guy, and more than that, he’s kind and loving and knows exactly how to find the best fudge when we travel.
He’s strong and capable and loves me unconditionally, and I am so very blessed to call him mine.
We’ve been so blessed to explore the world a little together, but it’s the ordinary moments that I cherish most.
When I see my husband through eyes that are looking for his perfection, -simple walks, holding hands, watching him laugh with the grandbabies… these things make my heart expand 10x’s like the Grinches’ that Christmas morning in Whoville! I fall more in love with him every single day.
I CHOOSE IT.
Marriage is a journey.
Your story is still being written.
Would you like some help with the editing?
You can change everything without changing him/her.
I know this is true, I’ve done it, and I can help you do it too.