Last week I shared some of my Thanksgiving weekend with you, but I didn’t tell you the whole story.
I didn’t share the part where after having our grand-babies over for a sleep-over, my husband and I started snapping at each other and it ended in an argument,- one that we’ve had many times before.
I felt all of the old feelings rise with it, all the pain came rushing back. But where in the past, this would have resulted in a few days of cold shouldering and avoiding, this time it was different.
And guess what? MY HUSBAND is the one who broke the ice and asked, “How do we make this better?”
Just to give you a little background on the two of us, I have always been interested in personal development and thought work… my husband, not at all.
He doesn’t know the self coaching model or really show any interest in my knowledge as a marriage coach. AND THAT’S OKAY! 100%!
The beauty of my doing this work is that he doesn’t have to, and I still get to love him completely.
I tell my clients all of the time, that it only takes one partner to change the relationship, and it’s true. This argument with my hubs is the perfect example.
Once I freed myself of the expectations for him that were making me miserable, I was able to just enjoy him, EXACTLY AS HE IS.
When he noticed that I wasn’t always criticizing and being disappointed by him, he showed up in all of the ways that I had previously hoped for!
Once I changed the pattern of the way that we argued… he shifted right along with me, which is why he was able to be the one to seek a solution this time when we argued.
He noticed,”Wait, we don’t do that anymore,- let’s fix this now and move on.”
Yes, we still argue or feel annoyed with one another at times, but instead of extreme highs and lows of the roller coaster we were on, now we are steadier.
More calm, more loving, more forgiving.
Our problems take up much less space in our relationship.
Are you ready to get off of the roller coaster?
You know the one I’m talking about where you climb up the hill to “getting along,” and then plunge down and around in a sea of pain and anguish, -just to begin the process of climbing once again.
How long can you take it before it’s just too much?
I get calls ALL OF THE TIME from people who wait too long.
They just hang on for dear life, until they lose the desire to try anymore.
They are emotionally exhausted.
Please don’t let that be your story.
There is hope!
If you have even the tiniest desire to mend your marriage and learn to make it amazing, don’t wait one more day.
Let’s get to work and make it happen!
It’s absolutely possible to change your ride.