Each year I spend time contemplating the message I want to share with you for Christmas. I feel so much love for all of you, and my greatest desire is for you to experience true joy… not just happiness.
My mind always seems to come back to this.
There are so many reasons we celebrate; the love of family and friends, the blessings of hearth and home, the music, the lights, the traditions that bring us joy… but the one I embrace the most is, hope.
To me this is the greatest gift of all.
Because of our Savior, we have 2nd, 3rd, 20th and even 100th chances. Because of Him, we can be renewed. There is no such thing as too far gone or beyond repair. We can heal what has been damaged, change our ways, reignite our faith and find sunshine after rain.
One of my clients recently expressed to me that this is the first Christmas in many years, that she and her husband are enjoying each other, -and enjoying Christmas together.
She has spent the past several months working with me, learning the tools, applying the concepts and doing the work, and it is paying off BIG TIME! When she first came to me, she was in so much pain and contemplating divorce.
I can’t tell you how happy it makes me to see her so happy.
I know just how she feels because I’ve experienced this myself.
I know it’s difficult to give when you don’t feel like you are receiving, but this back and forth pattern of pain and resentment WILL NOT CHANGE until someone decides to end it.
THAT SOMEONE CAN BE YOU.
Our loving Heavenly Father commanded us to forgive AND forget, because He knows It is a crucial element in finding joy.
We’ve all heard people say, “I can forgive, but I can’t forget.”
It’s natural for our lower brains to think this way. It’s protective… it doesn’t want us to let down our guard. So thank heaven we also have a prefrontal cortex that allows us to observe the lower brain and correct or change its thinking.
God knows that forgiving and forgetting is the greatest gift we can give ourselves. It was a commandment given out of extreme love and compassion for us.
You see, the past has NO POWER to hurt us anymore.
The past is over and gone, and the only thing before us is an empty slate which we can write upon.
The ONLY way our past can hurt us, is when we THINK painful thoughts about it.
These painful thoughts keep us imprisoned. We simply can’t move forward when we’re choosing to wake each day and lug that heavy suitcase around.
We mistakenly believe that if we forget, we are letting someone (or maybe even us?) off the hook for their bad behavior. It feels necessary. It’s just our brain’s attempt to keep us safe.
But inflicting this pain upon ourselves is pure torture. It holds us back from living our best lives, stunts our creativity, dulls our faith and sabotages our future happiness.
When we’re able to forgive and forget, we free our brains from re-experiencing that deep pain over and over again. We CHOOSE to rid ourselves of that poison.
Forgetting gives us the freedom to create the life we want, and to love ourselves and others in a way that is pure and unconditional.
It empowers us to live or act in integrity with the way we believe; -extending grace to others, just as God extends it to us.
This feel right, this feels good.
What are your thoughts about your relationship? Does it feel like it’s beyond repair? Have you given up on hoping for your happily ever after?
Can you remember a time when you were given a second chance?
Perhaps you were ashamed or felt unworthy… or perhaps things looked a little hopeless and you couldn’t see your way out of a tough situation. And then, -like manna from heaven, you were forgiven, accepted, redeemed… given a fresh start.
Do you know that is possible for your relationship as well? As long as you still want your marriage, there is hope.
Don’t give up!
Don’t throw it all away until you’ve done everything in your power to fix it.
Peace. Hope. Joy.
These are the gifts of Christmas.
Because of that tiny newborn babe, we can grow, we can change and gain a new perspective, we can wipe the slate clean and begin again.
The best way that we can honor Him is to extend this same grace to those that we love.
If this seems impossible, I can help you. Book a free consultation with me to learn how you can change everything, without changing your partner!
I can help you begin your journey back to joy.
With all my heart, that is my Christmas wish for you!