It’s New Years Day as I write this, and I can’t keep the tears from falling.
It’s been a beautiful week for us. Last night we said goodbye to what I’m sure will become an infamous year in the history books, and my husband and I have enjoyed a peaceful, beautiful, loving morning.
So why the tears?
This past week we lost a very dear friend. He was healthy and vivacious, living an incredible life, and just like that, a headache, -which turned out to be an aneurysm, took him suddenly from us.
Craig was my husband’s college roommate when we were dating. He was a groomsman at our wedding. He had a head of ruddy, curly hair, a mischievous smile, and was the instigator of MANY pranks and water and flour fights (we always had to be looking over our shoulders on campus), and so much laughter.
He was the first person my husband told, that I was the one.
Craig was feisty. He wasn’t a huge guy, but what he lacked in size, he made up for in tenacity, and proved it on the football field.
Craig married a beautiful girl, Annette, shortly after Steve and I were married, and they had two darling boys who have grown to become amazing young men.
Craig was a giver. He spent his life helping others as he treated cancer patients as an Oncologist, served as a Bishop in his church, and so much more…way more than I can list.
We haven’t always kept in touch, as they moved several hours away, but he has always been there for my husband.
He was the first one to call to offer congratulations, or condolences, or a shoulder or a hand…
He was truly the best kind of human, and my heart is shattered for his family.
So many of us are thinking about our goals for the year today.
“What do I want to do? What would I like to create or become?”
But today, I’d like to offer another choice.
“How do I want to love?”
Today, is the opportunity of a lifetime.
It’s the one sure thing we have.
If you are struggling in your marriage, you can turn things around right now. One simple sentence could change everything.
“I choose us.”
“I’m done thinking about the past, I love you and I choose to
move forward, loving you.”
“I forgive you, and I see the good in you.”
“We are not our mistakes, we’ve both made them, that’s part of
being human. What do you say we start again and move
“I don’t need to be right, I’d rather love you.”
I am holding my husband a little closer this week. I am cherishing the warmth of his hands and hugs, -he is my treasure.
I don’t want to waste any time thinking negative thoughts about him.
It’s totally a choice I make.
Please don’t wait to make the same choice for yourself.
If it feels beyond your ability to do on your own, I’m here for you.
Work with me, I’ll show you the way.
My heart aches for Annette, I can’t even imagine her pain.
But I know she will take incredible comfort in knowing that they loved and chose each other, for better and worse, for the past 30 years.
They took those daily opportunities to choose love, so that even though his life on earth was cut short, she can still feel him close and find comfort and joy in knowing they will be together again.
The choice to love, – deeply, completely, unconditionally.
THAT is the opportunity, and the blessing, of a lifetime.