I’ve always loved a good love story. Ever since I was little, I loved watching happy couples, on the big screen and off.
When we were kids, my cousin (and best friend) Jill and I would spy on people kissing, and watch young couples hanging all over each other at amusement parks..
We loved dreaming of the day when that would be us.. imagining what our handsome princes would look like, what their name might be, where we would honeymoon, -how our children would look…
I totally bought into the fairy tale!
I always wanted to marry and have a family of my own. Is that true for you too?
I LOVE love! And I’m still a sucker for a good Hallmark Christmas movie or romantic comedy! (Sandra Bullock is a personal fave!)
But for many of us, our relationships don’t turn out to look much like the movies.
The version of the happy ending we’re sold from the time we’re small,- that you meet that person who is perfect for you in every way, and then live happily ever after, is just not reality.
Yep, Hollywood sold us.
Advertising sold us.
TV ads and night time sitcoms and dramas sold us.
And we bought it, hook line and sinker.
We do this in life, and sometimes we buy without even knowing or understanding what’s in the bag!
For instance, like me, did you too buy into the fairy tale where your Cinderella or Prince Charming was supposed to make all of your dreams come true?
Or maybe, due to your life experience and exposure, you bought into the nightmare that all couples fight and are miserable.
Perhaps you bought into the sitcom that all husbands are buffoons, and all wives are nags?
Just like buying the latest cooking gadget on the infomercial, and then discovering it doesn’t cook amazing food like they showed on TV…
It’s just so frustrating to spend on something we don’t want right?
But here’s the good news my friends, just because we bought it, doesn’t mean we have to keep it.
We get to decide if we want to hang on to those beliefs, or return them to the seller, even if we’ve been wearing them around for years!
We can choose to believe that successful marriages come in all shapes and sizes, and that we can be the ones to create our happy ever after… (whatever that looks like to us.)
We can decide that both men and women are deserving of decency and respect. And that it’s okay to disagree without making it mean that either one of us is right or wrong… or ignorant or stupid…or less than.
We get to choose to remain calm and speak to each other with civility, and learn to argue with one another in a way that helps us move forward instead of 10 steps back.
We can buy the story that both of us matter and both of us are worthy of pursuing our dreams. That both of us have valid and unique thoughts and opinions, and that marriage is a journey, not a destination.
And we can buy the story that forgiveness is alway an option. That we can let go of our grudges and turn our faces to the future. That getting even isn’t nearly as fun as giving grace.
We can choose the story that just because we haven’t figured it all out yet, does NOT mean we made a mistake in choosing each other.
And we can choose to believe that it’s ALL worth it.
Worth the work. Worth the learning. Worth the loving.
Because of God’s amazing grace, we get to choose.
Choose carefully friends, so much depends upon what you decide to buy.