Why This is a Game You Want to Play

Last year, around this time, my husband and I were on a little getaway together in Park City.  We love to do that occasionally, just to spend some time alone together and celebrate life a little.  

There is a fun outlet mall up there, and though my husband HATES shopping, he now insists that we stop by for a bit because he knows I love it.

Well, I love sunglasses.  I have tons of them, but they are mostly the cheap ones you can pick up for $20 at Target.  

Anyway, I had been thinking about finding a nice pair, so we went to a sunglasses store to look around.  My face is a little hard to fit, so I tried on a several, but I finally found some that I loved.

My husband was so excited to whip out his credit card and buy them for me.

Now, maybe this doesn’t seem like a big deal to you, but remember, my husband HATES to shop.  But even more than hating shopping, he really doesn’t like spending money.  

This gift was such an act of love.  And EVERY SINGLE TIME I put them on, I feel so much love and appreciation for him.

Recently, he has really stepped up his game in our yard.  While I’ve been working a lot, he’s done the spring clean-up, put in new bark, trimmed the trees and groomed the lawn.  

And he did it all for me!

He also just remodeled one of our bathrooms.  It looks so beautiful!  He spent hours and hours because he is a craftsman.  He takes his time to do quality work and the result is so lovely!

Yep.  He did that for me too!

You’re right.  I am the luckiest!

My husband is low maintenance. He never asks for anything.

He’s the type to really get good use out of his clothing, cars, etc..

I know he doesn’t like to spend money, so I am always listening for him to mention something he would enjoy, so that I can surprise him with it.  Because if it’s a gift, and he doesn’t actually have to part with the money himself, it seems easier for him to accept it and enjoy it.

So, when I noticed him admiring the 75” TV’s at Costco for the hundredth time, I decided that even though I can’t see the difference between that one, and the 65” one currently hanging on our wall, -because he could, and I knew he would enjoy it, I decided to get it for him.

Tell you what, it sure was fun having my boys help me bring their truck and haul it home to surprise him.

I hope that every time he turns it on, he feels my love.

Now, I’m not sharing any of this to brag about how perfect my life is.  Trust me, it’s not.

But I wanted to give you an example of how something we often fight about, can be flipped to create more joy.

When we fight or argue about who does more, or who gets more, we are operating from a space of scarcity.  We aren’t noticing and appreciating  and allowing ourselves to feel the deliciousness of abundance!

Is my husband doing all of these things just for me?  Maybe not, but I don’t care, that’s the story I’m going with because it makes me feel incredible.

When I choose to notice and view his actions as gifts to me, I feel so loved, and I want to be generous with him.

Sometimes when our spouse expresses a desire for something, we choose to form a judgment about them.  “She’s frivolous.  He’s selfish.  That’s not a wise choice.”

Are expensive sunglasses a wise choice?  Probably not.  But I wanted them, and he wanted me to be happy, so he wanted them too.

Is a bigger TV a wise choice?  Perhaps not, but if I can do anything to show my gratitude and love to my guy, I’M IN!  Sign me up!  

Let ME be the one to give it to him please!

I love to be the one who brings a smile to his face.

I love this giving game.

It feels so much better than the anger and resentment match.

Whenever he turns that TV on, I smile a little inside, knowing that I brought this enjoyment to him.

Next time you feel yourself being angry or resentful over an issue like this,  think ahead to the end of your life.  Imagine yourself, happy and well. See yourself looking back on this situation.

How are you glad that you responded?  

If you ask this question, you’ll know what to do.